Assignment 2 : Stories

Below are my three images selected for assignment 2B, We were asked to ‘collect stories’ from a selection of people from different backgrounds, to my surprise I have realised that my friends have extraordinary imaginations, below are some of the results,






Ross McMahon, 19, Student.



"It's strange how the top of the world seems so much like the top of a beer bottle... you start there and it feels so wonderful, so inspirational that you don't want to go to the bottom... but when you get there it's even better - or worse - than the top, depending on your mood. You're either really happy - elated even - or you're sad and feel like ending it all. You don't want to wait to see what life has in store for you whether it be getting married or bachelor (spinster?) hood. But one day you might just receive a phone-call that like the bubbles in a bottle or the gas in a balloon, force you to rise to the top once more and relive the feeling that you're above everything, supreme."




Fiona Clark, 32, Pharmacist.



The night before his wedding the groom has a stag do with his ushers and best man. As you can see from the empties they had a lot to drink maybe too much. At the end of the night the best man ties his mate naked inside this basket in the middle of a field with his suit on the floor. Thinking they are funny the men do a runner and leave the groom stranded. When the groom wakes in the morning he looks at his watch and realises he’s 20 mins late, he looks up and sees sky and a flame, shit. He is 1000ft above ground and his clothes are spread all over the basket, suddenly his phone goes off , it’s his wife from the phone box outside the church. “Where the hell are you?”

“ In the balloon darling it’s a surprise!!”

The pilot drops the balloon onto the grass outside and the rest is history…





Ross Pamplona, 26, Graduate.



Dave loves collecting beer bottle caps, everybody in the village knew about his collection and occasionally added to it, one day Mrs Fallacious brought him an old one with a thistle on the top, as he was giving it a clean smoke started to fill the room. Next thing he realised he was being whooshed into the sky on a hot air balloon, “ what how did this happen?” he screamed.

Suddenly the balloon came crashing to the ground but the fall was broken by a tree, underneath the tree was a man in a black suit and a woman in a huge wedding dress.

After plenty of discussion Dave found he was miles from home, the bride offered to call Davis mother and let her know her son was on his way home, while the groom took Dave to the nearest bus stop.

Sadly this was to his great regret as at the bus stop was a gang of teenagers spurring for a fight.

Hours went by and Davis mum and the bride were waiting patiently on their loved ones return, little did they know the only time they would see them again was if they were digging in the far northern field of the village where they were buried.





Alasdair Irving, 37, Business man.





It was a Saturday afternoon and I was in the house, watching the football and opening another bottle of my favourite beer -Budweiser- (any extra points for product placement?) when a shadow covered the sitting-room window. I looked outside to see a flotilla of hot-air balloons float by. The biggest balloon was advertising Budweiser, saying "For a Year's Free Bud call 0800-budweiser from any public phone box". "Fucking right", I thought, spilling the pile of bottle tops over the floor, as I sprinted to the phone box at the corner of the street. However, when I reached it, there was a sizeable queue, with a bride on the phone. The bride suddenly screamed "I've won the year's supply of beer!" Feeling a bit dejected at not winning it myself, I congratulated her anyway. "Thanks" she replied "This is the happiest day of my life!" I retorted "It really is- wedding and free beer!" "No!" she snorted "The wedding was yesterday!"





Kate O’Neil, 34, nurse.



I couldn’t wait for my wedding day, we had everything prepared from the church, the cake and the dress. All I needed was for my husband to be to turn up on time… this was the only problem.

An hour and a half late I decided to phone to see what was going on, shouldn’t the bride be fashionably late?

My battery had died so I jumped across to the nearest phone box.

“Err hello?” my man asked with a strange tone, “Where the hell are you?” I screamed , “I’ll be right there honey” he shouted then hung up.

Twenty minutes later balloons filled the air, I thought I only asked for bubbles?

Just then I saw him in all his glory floating down to the ground like a bird.

As he landed I ran over shouting “about time!”

I was only jealous that the crowd had gathered for his ‘big’ arrival and not mine…



Well you know what they say virginity is like a balloon, one pr*ck to steal your limelight and its gone forever, just like my perfect day.



Craig Hamilton, 24, Solicitor.



Working the grave shift within this hotel is a soul destroying experience. Corridors lay bare, boisterous and demanding spawns are now dead to the night, intoxicated middle class middle aged middle of the road men are now captured within a dreamless coma, all that remains is party waste cast aside from the wedding reception. I must attempt to clear this catastrophic mess before the first zombie guests attend for breakfast.

The main desk phone starts to ring. I answer. Room 137 again…what is he complaining of now? First it was the sink leaking, then the towels were not daz white, then to top it off the cupboard did not close with enough haste for his liking. I half expect a request for me to go up and wipe his ass. He states that there has been a lot of commotion from the room next door…a lot of screaming and banging. Not surprised, that is where the bride and groom are “resting” for this evening.

Grudgingly and with streams of embarrassment I knock at the newly weds door. It opens slightly ajar from my touch. I announce that I am the hotel night manager and I am just checking that everything is in order. No answer. I proceed to enter the room very slowly. A flood of balloons block my vision ahead, this was not unexpected as I had prepared and filled the room with countless balloons and flowers the night before. I gently fight through the maze, trying my best not to burst any.

I push my way through to the centre of the room, there is a clearing. The groom is relaxing on a couch…trousers and shirt still on. This is a surprise. However he does not seem surprised to see me. He stands up and walks to the fridge. As he does so I catch a glimpse into the bathroom…the bride is still in her dress…face down in the overflowing bathtub. The groom casually throws me a beer…“I have a proposition for you…”